Yesterday Yuval came home from work early.
I picked Tova up from school early.
We went to the head honcho ENT dude for an appointment that has been stressing me out for all of this year. I think I have been there 4-5 times and talked about ent stuffs, but put off this treatment each time.
So, yesterday, with Yuval, we prepared Tova by telling her this:
We are going to an ENT appointment. It isn't going to be nice. Actually it may make you cry. It won't hurt, but will feel uncomfortable. It will be quick. We will be with you the entire time, we won't leave you. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. But you may feel scared. We will be with you. The doctor is going to get a very thin tube with a camera attached to the end. He is going to put the camera on the tube down your nose and look at your throat. We won't leave you. We will hold you and sing to you.
Tova thought it was funny when I ran my finger along her nose, along her cheek and down her neck. And made me do that to myself too. She nodded that she understood.
Yuval and I thought that Tova would cry, cry, cry. Cry so loud that people across the world would hear her.
There is no sedation for this test. And actually, crying is helpful for the dr to see what he needs to see.
The point of this test was to see if there is scaring or damage anywhere that could possibly be causing these frequent visits to hospital and to see if there is damage to the vocal cords. If they found any scaring we were hoping that it could be fixed so that Tova stops getting so sick every couple of weeks. We are pretty sick of going to hospital all the time with a sick Tova. And also, we were hoping they would find a fixable reason why she doesn't talk with her voice.
Well.. first of all, after waiting for an hour or so on the waiting room (we were waiting to see a specific doctor and when he did arrive we were first in to see him). We went into the room and a very lovely nurse sat with Tova on her lap. She wrapped Tova in a sheet so that she couldn't move so much, VERY CLEVER! Tova didn't mind so much, it is kind of like after the bath, being wrapped in a towel!
So far so good.
Then the doctor slid the camera on the tube down one nostril.. Tova shut her eyes. A little tear appeared on her left eye. Just one.
Then he did the other nostril.
She made a few gaggy coughs because the tube is uncomfortable I imagine.
She didn't cry.
She is our hero!
Not because she didn't cry. But because she has been through more than anything I could have ever imagine anyone going through at any stage of their lives. For someone so small and frag she is the strongest person I have ever met.
Oh, and I mostly held it together during this procedure too. I did have to fight back tears, but those tears turned to pride! Yuval was strong too. We were both very interested in looking at the screen of inside Tova's nose and throat. It was amazing.
This little precious miracle child never ceases to amaze us. She is an honour to know.
Result: There is no damage down there. In a way it is a shame. We were kind of hoping for the dr to say "oh yes, here is the thing that I can fix. Once fixed she will talk and also stop going to hospital"... Oh well..